When Aging Parents Won’t Accept Help
For many seniors, it is difficult to accept the care they need. If this sounds like your parents, there are solutions that can help!
Acknowledging and accepting the need for help is not an easy thing, in particular as it relates to personal care and private matters. Feelings associated with loss of independence are significant and accepting help means accepting that abilities have become diminished. Admitting this reality can be upsetting.
If someone you care about is uncertain or reluctant to accept help, it is imperative to respect the way they are feeling, and to recognise how trying this time must be for them. This needs to be balanced with an honest assessment of what care needs they may have.
These co-existing and often conflicting realities need to be considered as you try to create an appropriate arrangement that is respectful of their feelings yet permits the lifestyle change required to maintain a safe and independent living environment.
Remember to always be patient, and keep the following things in mind:
- Introduce the idea progressively and allow plenty of time for processing and acceptance.
- Offer a test period. Your loved one may be willing to try engaging with a Support Worker if they feel they have the freedom to change their minds.
- Frame it in a different way. Often people are more able to accept a Support Worker’s help if it is framed as being beneficial for the family caregiver.
- Start the Support Worker with household chores, rather than personal or “hands on” care.
- Slowly acquaint them with these additional forms of care as they get more comfortable.
- Take your loved one to visit some nursing homes to explore their options. Many seniors would rather stay in their homes, and might be more amenable to accepting help if it means they can stay at home.
- Often people will listen to their physician. Ask their physician to suggest a plan that includes a Support Worker.
- Often, the cost for the services is a chief concern. Remember to be sensitive to their point of view since many of today’s seniors were brought up during the Depression and World War years. Money is always on their mind.
The Retire-At-Home Approach:
Retire-At-Home understands and has experience with the resistance often faced regarding accepting outside help. In many instances, our services are secured by children or family members of loved ones, and these situations often involve helping individuals through the acknowledgement and acceptance process of accepting that much needed help.
It is exactly because this is such a common occurrence that our process begins with a free, no-obligation nurse-led consultation. This guided, one-on-one conversation is designed to address the worries, fears, and areas of resistance that your loved-one may be facing. Our approach helps seniors understand that they will be able to maintain that highly desired state of independence while they are receiving the additional help and care.
We recommend introducing the additional help progressively, and ensure that we gather feedback along the way so we can adjust what we do and how we it. Feeling heard and consulted and having a sense that they are part of the decision-making process is key to their acceptance.
Contact us today to discuss the home care needs for you or a loved one in Simcoe County, or to book a Free Home Care Assessment with our Nurse.
We proudly serve the following communities in Simcoe County:
Barrie, Midland, Innisfil, Wasaga Beach, Angus, Borden, Creemore, Duntroon, Everett, Glencairn, Glen Huron, Lisle, New Lowell, Nottawa, Stayner,Utopia, Egbert, Elmvale, Gilford, Hawestone, Hillsdale, Lefroy,Midhurst, Minesing, Orillia, Oro, Oro Station, Penetanguishene, Perkinsfield, Phelpstone, Shanty Bay, Stroud, Thornton, Tiny, Wyevale.
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